Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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