found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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