Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize