i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's Friday. Sex?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize