u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Buhtt sex?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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