I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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