I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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