I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize