it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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