you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize