I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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