worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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