dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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