There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize