Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize