He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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