just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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