Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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