It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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