I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize