why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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