chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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