he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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