just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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