also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize