You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize