should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize