After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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