some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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