So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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