I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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