Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
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I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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