Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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