I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize