Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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