eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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