Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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