Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
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Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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