I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize