like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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