ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize