oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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