3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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