why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am naked and annoyed.
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