I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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