Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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