Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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