adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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