K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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