didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize